"i still haven't finished my novel" and other thoughts i've had today

  • I'll do the dishes tomorrow
  • I should go for a walk at lunch
  • Is this sweater dirty? *smells it* Nope, it's fine.
  • The tub hasn't been bleached in a few weeks...
  • Is that mole changing shape?
  • Just one more episode
  • If I go to bed now, I'll get x hours of sleep!
  • I forgot to do laundry again. I'll run a few loads tomorrow
  • Does this milk smell funny?
  • I wish the zipper on those boots didn't break
  • WHY ARE FIRST DRAFTS SO HARD UUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • OH! There's hot chocolate in the lunch room!
    • Are they talking about me?
    • Do I even know them?
    • They're totally talking about me
    • shit am I wearing pants?!!?!?!?!
    • yep, pants are on
    • Why are they talking about me??
    • Oh they got a piece of my mail by accident.
    • I knew they were talking about me
  • Sorry x a million
  • There's no way these pants don't fit. They fit last week! They must have shrunk.
  • Heck YES I'll have [insert name of baked good in the lunch room]!
    • Why are pants required in public?
    • The world would totally be a happier place without pants.
    • MAYBE PANTS ARE THE KEY TO WORLD PEACEI should get out of bed and get ready for work
  • Ugh this for lunch again? I need to change up my selection of frozen lunches
  • Man, I LOVE the Nashville soundtracks
    • Like, wow, Hayden Panettiere can SING. 
    • She's so tiny. How can she POSSIBLY make that much sound?
    • Is being short the secret to singing like a goddess? 
    • That's totally why I can't sing
    • I mean, I can sort of sing
    • *sings along*
    • Nope. 
    • I totally can't sing
  • Socks are prisons for your feet
    • Good LORD Trump is an idiot
    • DO THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT'S DINNER WITHOUT HIM
    • Jimmy Kimmel should host
    • And make it a fundraiser for the ACLU and Planned Parenthood
    • Trudeau could totally be the head of state stand in
    • Remember Trudeau's butt? He's a mediocre politician at best, but DAYUM that butt
    • There goes my lunch break
trudeaus butt in tina belchers butt bank
  • My hot chocolate is cold
    • I wonder when my library books are due? 
    • Next week
    • I need to read faster
    • Unless I can renew them...
    • Welp I have five books to read between now and Sunday
  • Is "reader of books to determine which to turn into a movie" a job title? I'd like that.
  • Ok, Nashville, tone it down a little
  • Guess it's time for some 90's music
  • JAMIRIQUAI? No thank you
    • Damnit my phone is dying
    • And OF COURSE I don't have a power cord with me
    • maybe in my car? 
    • NOPE
    • DAMN it's cold outside
  • I can't wait to get home and take off my pants
  • BUT WAIT I have a doctor's appointment
  • Thanks, phone, for reminding me before I took my pants off
  • Britney should totally be a thing again.
  • Can she go back to pre-head shaving breakdown Britney? She was the best