I think the hardest part about being a type-a, high-functioning person with quite the litany of mental health diagnoses is that you don’t have the chance to fall apart. There is always a project due, a meal that needs cooking, a loved one that needs supporting, and family that needs caring for. There is always something on your plate, and the worse your mental state gets, the more you add to it.
The secret that most high-functioning people don’t tell you is that we use our projects and our familial obligations and our jobs as the glue that holds us together. As long as we have something to do, there is no time to fall apart.
And so the cycle continues, on and on and on. Sometimes a project will fall through the cracks, or it might not be completed to the very best of our abilities, because we took the time to have a bubble bath, or take a nap, or just lay in bed thinking about all of the things that we have to do in order to keep our lives moving forward. But they get done, and sometimes, that’s the best that we can do.
But we can’t fall apart. We can’t clear our schedule for mental health days, we can’t take a relaxing beach vacation or say no when something comes along. We just keep going and going and going because that is how we cope. That is how we get through the day, then the week, and eventually the year.
It’s exhausting. But we always get through it.